Chastity and Fidelity

Q 108: What does the seventh commandment teach us?  A: That God condemns all unchastity, and that therefore we should thoroughly detest it and live decent and chaste lives, within or outside of the holy state of marriage. Q 109: Does God, in this commandment, forbid only such scandalous sins as adultery?  A: We are temples of the Holy Spirit, body and soul, and God wants both to be kept clean and holy. That is why God forbids all unchaste actions, looks, talk, thoughts, or desires, and whatever may incite someone to them.

Chastity and fidelity are unpopular words in a world as sex-saturated as our own. Sexual freedom is one of the highest values. Strikingly, someone sexual union is portrayed as more desirable when illegitimate and a bore when within the confines of marriage. What is it about our culture that we would view sex this way? And what is it about sex that God would restrict it to marriage?

Much can be said about adultery. The reasons people partake of that particular, forbidden fruit are plentiful – boredom, sexual frustration, emotional disconnection, and more. And our culture is increasingly focused on the self. Satisfy yourself. You deserve it. You need to do what’s best for you. Apply that logic to sex, and adultery and lust make perfect sense. Both of these focus primarily on the questions, “Am I satisfied by this person? What can I get out of this person for my own good?” 

But Christians, married and single alike, are called to chastity and fidelity. True love is not focused on what the self can get out of others, but a different question entirely: “How can I contribute to this person’s flourishing?” Married or single, we can all ask this question. None of us may simply do whatever we want to do whenever a desire arises. We all must seek to discipline our desire for pleasure into self-sacrificial love that allows others to flourish. 

The single person is called to chastity and fidelity – to remain faithful and loyal to God. The single life is a beautiful picture of union with Christ. Paul wrote, “But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:17) and “An unmarried man or woman is concerned with the Lord’s affairs” (1 Corinthians 7:32, 34). The chaste and faithful single Christian points to our union with Christ and God’s faithful commitment to his own.

The married couple is called to chastity and fidelity – to remain faithful and loyal to one another. They belong to one another, no longer to themselves. Paul also wrote, “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:4) and “…the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). This, too, is a beautiful picture of our union with Christ and the way God relates to his people. He is the perfectly faithful bridegroom. He has been loyal to his people, perfectly embodying self-sacrificial love.

So, as the catechism encourages, let us remain faithful to our God and to one another. The life of the Christian is dedicated fully to God. Out of thanks to God for his faithfulness, may we flee anything that would taint our fidelity, whether actions, looks, talk, thoughts, or desires.

~ Pastor Tim